team brings an anti-surveillance lens to everything I want to do, coworker makes loud noises every few minutes, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My team brings an anti-surveillance lens to everything I want to do as a manager

We’re in a weird spot at work where I keep running into the intersection of anti-surveillance sentiments and standard industry tracking tools in really surprising ways.

First the issue was mobile device management software introduced by the company that set off some of the more senior members of the team — things like making sure updates happened and that the anti-virus software was up to date, something I’ve had on my company-provided device since they became a thing nearly two decades ago. We had a senior staff member threaten to quit over it. Then it was about an experiment we did as a team in giving each other feedback where as a management team we asked to preview the feedback to make sure it was kind and relevant and concrete. This also caused all sorts of consternation, although everyone did eventually relent.

I joined the team a year ago and they’d been working in a sort of feature factory mode. We’re trying to better quantify the team’s output by tracking industry standard metrics like cycle time. We did this by hand in Q1 and started re-using an existing tool in Q2. This didn’t seem to be a problem until we launched an enterprise AI client and my boss and I connected it to the metrics tool so we could track adoption and see if it had an effect on team performance (negative or positive). Cue outrage and frustration and long rants that boiled down to how this sort of thing is a slippery slope to the worst excesses of the current administration. All I want to do is know how much longer or shorter a pull request is to merge with AI, but the team acts like it’s a major violation of their rights and privacy that I didn’t ask their permission first to use data that is company-owned because it’s created on company tools and devices.

Is this normal? I’ve been managing for over a decade and this is the first time I’ve had a team I manage tell me they had to approve the tools I use and the data that goes to them. The company has been through a lot of change in the past year and I know some of this is tied to that as it becomes more corporate and goes through a CEO transition. I’m just tired of feeling like every managerial decision I make has to be approved by the team and like I can’t pick a tool to save me six hours a week without major drama. My boss is equally baffled — the level of response feels outsized to the actual requests. Am I just out of touch and sending standard aggregated data to a third party tool really is the worst thing ever?

I don’t think their concerns are job loss. We’re in a relatively stable industry — no layoffs on this team in the past few years. It all seems to be the surveillance in general, like any aggregation of data regardless of the purpose is bad.

I wouldn’t say the pattern as a whole is normal. Some individual pieces, maybe — for example, it’s reasonable to raise concerns about mandated software on personal devices, although it sounds like these may have been company-provided devices, in which case it’s not. And with the concerns about management filtering feedback, I could see people being wary of exactly how it was going to be used and whether they could be candid. With the AI data pulls, a lot of people are on high alert right now for AI being used to manage them out of a job, or in ways that will make their jobs harder rather than easier.

But all of it together makes me think something’s going on that you’re not accounting for. Maybe it’s just the stress of work right now, and people’s general feeling of being unsupported and under siege (even if that’s not the case at your specific company), or maybe there’s something cultural on the team that you’re missing because you’re still new-ish. In your shoes, I’d talk one-on-one with a couple of most level-headed-seeming team members and see what their take is on it.

2. My coworker makes loud noises every few minutes

I work in an open concept office. I have a coworker who sits so close to me that if I don’t watch what I am doing, I could push my chair back and hit hers.

I have been in this role for about 18 months. She came to sit at the desk she is at about nine months ago. When she came, she mentioned she was recovering from the flu and made loud coughing, sniffling, and throat-clearing noises constantly. I worked through it, trying to be understanding. However, since then she has not stopped the coughing and throat-clearing. The throat-clearing happens, on average, once every 3-4 minutes and is VERY loud and startling. It sounds almost like a sharp bark and has started stressing me out to the point where I am making mistakes in my work.

The only thing keeping me from jumping out the nearest window is that we have different shifts so we only really overlap for three hours a day. I unfortunately cannot be moved or wear noise-cancelling headphones because part of my job is to answer phones and greet anyone who comes into the office.

Is there anything I can do about this? I sent an email to HR and they basically said there is nothing they can do since it is a medical thing, and my boss is terrified of being sued so he refuses to even speak to her.

Probably not, I’m sorry. She’s almost certainly not clearing her throat for the hell of it, and it’s probably very annoying to her as well.

But while you can’t move, is there any chance she can be moved without impacting her own work, at least to an area where she’s not sitting so close to someone else? You could ask HR about that, explaining that the loud noises are so startling that it’s making it hard for you to work.

Beyond that, the most you could do is ask her once, and apologetically, if there’s any way to do it more quietly, because maybe she doesn’t realize how very jarring it is for someone sitting so close to her — but you need to be prepared for her to explain that there’s not.

Related:
are all workplaces full of loud, germy, sweaty coworkers?

3. I was put on a PIP for not improving while I was on leave

I had a rough go of it this year at work. I work in an industry impacted by tax season, and the stress of it heightened my bipolar disorder and interfered with my work performance. I received a critical performance review in May. I took this as a wake-up call and took short-term disability for four weeks in June to do an intensive outpatient program. I made the mistake of disclosing my condition to my bosses because we have worked together closely for years, and I thought I could trust them.

My bosses were not happy about the short-term disability and put up roadblocks to getting it approved, but I managed to satisfy all the requirements. When I came back in July, there was a meeting on the calendar for a week after my return with both of my bosses. I immediately knew it wasn’t going to be good.

They put me on a PIP for the issues raised in the May meeting due to me not improving since then. (The issues were related to accuracy in my work.) I pointed out that I was away on leave for most of that time, but they sort of hand-waved that detail away. I have 90 days to improve.

I suspect they’re setting me up to get rid of me due to my bipolar disorder. Does this constitute discrimination on the basis of disability if I can prove I’ve been unfairly singled out? I know I’m not the lowest performer on the team, but comments they made have indicated that I’m the only one on a PIP. I want to seek legal action, but I’d love to hear your opinion.

It’s possible; you’d need to talk to a lawyer to get a more solid idea, since they can look at all the facts of your case, and this kind of thing is very fact-dependent. However, the fact that they told you they were putting you on a PIP because you hadn’t improved your accuracy during a period when you were out on leave and not working sure doesn’t make this look like a typical performance management decision. It’s worth talking to a lawyer and getting their advice.

4. My coworker is using the wrong AI

My company has a strict acceptable use policy for generative AI. We have a contract with Google, and are supposed to use Gemini for the kinds of things that Gemini is good at. Some employees, like developers, are allowed to use other authorized tools for appropriate tasks, but my coworker is a sales executive and should only be using Gemini. However, they pay for a personal Claude account and use it heavily for business-related tasks.

Setting aside the fact that their emails to customers and their internal notes and messages are clearly written by AI, how should I address the fact that by sharing confidential information with an unapproved AI they are in violation of our acceptable use policy? Our policy also says that since I know of this violation, I must report it to the Chief Security Officer. I don’t want to be a snitch, but this seems pretty clear. What should I do?

Yes, the policy is clear: if you know about it, you have to report it, so that’s what you should do. “Snitching” isn’t really a concept that applies at work; what you have are clear data security policies that you’ve agreed to follow.

But you can certainly tell the person you report it to that you’re concerned about introducing tension into your relationship with your colleague and ask that they keep your name out of it to whatever extent they can.

5. Thank-you note success story

I’ve been reading you for years and I have a low-stakes success story to share! I’ve been a stay-at-home parent for the last year, but recently I’ve been thinking about getting back into the workforce (or at least, the workforce that isn’t … my house and family). I applied for a part-time remote position that I felt I was actually a good fit for, but on paper it was way outside my wheelhouse: it’s in a totally different field, and while I have some applicable skills, they’re kind of out of date. I got an interview and thought it went well, but I was sure there were much more qualified people in the applicant pool, so I really didn’t think I would get it.

Well, I just heard back, and they offered me the job! There were two deciding factors that I’m told set me apart: first, I have a personal connection to this position and a familiarity with the organization, which is very helpful in this particular context (adjacent to the nonprofit/service world). And second, I sent a thank-you note! Apparently I’m the only person they interviewed who did!

I employed advice from your website in preparing for the interview, especially in considering how I could reframe my skills and explain why I’d be able to do this job, even if my previous experience didn’t seem to fit on paper. I’m genuinely excited to do this work, it’s going to fit well with parenting and my spouse’s career, and I’m so glad I took a bit of a risk and applied. And let this be a lesson to everyone – always send a thank-you note!

Related:
here’s an example of a great interview thank-you note