who’s responsible for the motorcycle accident in our parking lot, HR won’t let me go fully remote, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Who’s responsible for the motorcycle accident in our parking lot?

During the summer, two or three people in my company will arrive at work on motorcycles which they park in the office lot. They usually put all the bikes together in a single parking slot. There is no designated spot for motorcycles or scooters. The lot was resurfaced a few months ago, at which time the employees in question requested a parking pad for their bikes, which was denied. Last week, during a heat wave, the kickstand on one of the motorcycles sank into the asphalt and the bike crashed, to the tune of $800 in damage plus minor scraping on the side of the car in the next slot.

The employee requested the company cover repair costs. The request was denied and he was told it was his responsibility to submit through his own insurance. The employee feels that as the parking pad was not provided and there is no company policy prohibiting motorcycles in the lot, and no sign prohibiting motorcycle parking or a “park motorcycle at your own risk,” he should be reimbursed.

Should he have anticipated the potential for a sinking kickstand in newish asphalt and used a kickstand pad? Or is it on the company to provide a lot that is safe for motorcycles unless otherwise noted, especially as management was already aware motorcycles are parked in the lot?

I didn’t know enough about motorcycles to know whether he should have anticipated that he wouldn’t be safe parking on the asphalt or not, but some quick research seems to indicate that it’s pretty commonly known among motorcyclists that hot weather does soften asphalt and can cause kickstands to sink — and that it would be a predictable risk and it would have been on him to use a kickstand pad.

The company is required to maintain a reasonably safe parking lot, but they’re not required to post signs warning it’s not safe for motorcycles to park there in the heat. It’s reasonable that that they’re telling him to submit through his own insurance.

All that said, since the company has multiple people who commute on motorcycle, it would be a good idea to install the parking pad that’s been requested — for reasons of good will, and to protect other cars in a situation like this, and because it will protect the lot from similar damage in the future. They can show they want to accommodate people and keep their vehicles safe without accepting fault for this accident.

2. My boss won’t stop talking about diet and exercise

My boss, who by all accounts has typically been fairly reasonable and quite sharp, has recently taken up an intense and demanding hobby which has changed her lifestyle and personality considerably. Our relationship has been perhaps overly familiar in the past (she is a chronic oversharer), but the last few months have become unbearable. Every conversation leads back to her weight, her calorie counting, and her exercise routine. I find it annoying, but also somewhat triggering and regressive. The extreme dieting also makes her extremely irritable and worse at her job, which affects all of us. Our most stressful time of year is coming up, and she’s talking incessantly about how carrots have too much sugar.

Our company is small enough that there is no way to make an anonymous complaint or look to HR for guidance. What can I do?

You can’t do anything about her diet making her irritable (just like you couldn’t do anything if a medication or marriage problems were making her irritable), but you can set boundaries for what topics you’re willing to chat about and you can ask her to rein in the diet talk around you. Sample language: “I’m really trying not to focus on dieting or food so much. Can I ask you to rein in those topics around me?” If you don’t think that on its own will get her attention, consider saying, “I struggle with that topic and it’s rough on my mental health, so I’d be really grateful if you wouldn’t raise it around me.” The fact that the relationship has already been an overly familiar one might give you an easier opening to say it.

From there, if she continues to bring it up, feel free to abruptly change the subject to something work-related. You might enlist your coworkers in doing this, too.

3. My boss wants me to go fully remote, but HR is blocking it

I’ve work for a small company for two years. I love my team, but the company has some deep culture issues. I’m currently working hybrid, commuting about an hour each way two days a week. My wife and I plan to move a few states away to be closer to my family when our lease ends in a few months. I’ve been looking for a higher paying job in the much higher cost of living area that we’ll be moving to, but the market is tough right now.

My boss, who I trust immensely, has known about this move for a while and got a chance to let her boss know. He immediately said he wanted to keep me, asked if I’d be willing to go fully remote, and even convinced someone on another team to create a more marketable and higher paying role for me. The team I’d work for is excited about me, I’m excited about the opportunity, and my boss’s boss is eager to keep me in the organization.

The problem is the head of HR at my company. Although we have many employees who are fully remote, including several who started in person and were allowed to keep their jobs when they moved, she has indicated that she intends to say no to my working fully remote. My manager has vouched for my productivity at home, and even requested that I be allowed to come into the office less often without my asking, so it’s not because I’m not doing my work. The HR woman often claims that she applies rules universally when she really doesn’t, so it doesn’t matter what other employees get to do.

This HR person holds incredible sway in this organization and may be able to single-handedly crush my new offer. She reports directly to our COO (who is fully remote, by the way), but so does my boss’s boss. The HR person is acting like she has final say. I know she’s not a big fan of remote work, but at least half our company is remote. It may also be personal, as I’d say she probably doesn’t like me, if I had to guess. Regardless of why, she will likely double down on it emphatically.

My family is fine financially, so this move is happening whether I stay in this job or not. I refuse to give this one woman that much power over my life. This is one of the ways my company can be quite toxic so maybe it is better to get out regardless. Still, this opportunity would be great on my resume, and I believe it would shield me from some of the culture elements that are the most stifling. I’m not sure if there’s anything I can do apart from hope my boss’s boss wins this fight. I’m a more direct person, and I struggle with workplace politics and delicate conversations. My style would be to tell her I’m moving no matter what and she can just decide if the company keeps me or loses me.

You want to have that conversation with your boss, not the HR person. Your boss, her boss, and the other manager are the ones who need to fight this out with HR (or more likely, with the COO), not you; you’ll be outmatched power-wise, but the other managers involved might not be. So talk to your boss and explain there’s no scenario here where the HR person squashes your move and so you stay; you’re moving regardless, and the question is only whether the company wants to keep you when you do. Say that you hope they will and you’d like to stay, and ask what the next steps are to resolve this.

Meanwhile, while this is playing out, keep job-searching. If this comes through, great — but you won’t be counting on it meanwhile.

4. Should I tell an interviewer how much my gut says this is the right job for me?

I’m in the interview process for a job that I have an incredibly good feeling about. I’ve liked everyone I’ve talked with there, the work seems perfect for me, and I just have a really strong gut feeling that this is the right job for me. I rely a lot on intuition, and every time I’ve had a strong feeling in either direction with a job in the past, it’s been borne out.

I have my final interview coming up with the hiring manager and I’m wondering if there’s any way to mention this feeling or that would be too weird. If it’s something I could say, what’s the best way to say it?

Don’t do it.

You can absolutely share that you’ve been impressed with everyone you’ve met so far and are excited about the role but don’t cite your intuition. Counterintuitively (ha!), you risk it weakening your candidacy in their eyes because they’ll think it’s an excessively woo-woo thing thing to say and/or will wonder whether you’ll make work decisions based on vibe/gut rather than evidence, or they’ll just think it shows odd judgment to say it in this context.

Even in the best case scenario where they don’t think any of those things, it still won’t hold any weight with them … because they’re assessing whether you’re the best candidate for the job, not to what extent you feel it’s right for you, and hiring managers talk all the time to people who are convinced a job is perfect for them when the hiring manager can see that it isn’t.

Definitely be enthusiastic about the work and the company, but don’t take it further than that.

5. Rejection letter suggested a different job — one that I’m not interested in

I just received a rejection letter for a job I’ve been interviewing for. The email was directly from the hiring manager and, after letting me know I didn’t get the job, she said that she thinks I would be a good fit for a different position on her team and asked if I’d be interested in it. The thing is, I’m really not; it’s work that I’m trying to get away from doing and am purposely avoiding when I’m applying for positions! I’d like to maintain the contact, but I really don’t want to move into their hiring process for this other job. How can I politely turn them down?

Be straightforward! It’s not rude to have specific professional goals, and she won’t think that’s weird at all. Say something like, “Thank you so much for letting me know, and for mentioning the X position. I’m focused on positions doing Y so it’s not quite what I’m looking for right now, but I appreciate you thinking of me for it. I’d love to stay in touch if anything more like Y opens up.”