A reader writes:
When a coworker mentions some upcoming leave they are taking, is it considered poor form to ask what they’re getting up to?
My instinct when someone says, “I won’t be in next week” is to ask if they have anything fun planned. I’ve always thought of that as just friendly small talk, but I know of course not all leave is for vacation time and recreation, so I don’t know if I’m putting my foot in my mouth. Instead of asking what they have planned, sometimes I’ll simply say, “Hope you get some R&R in!” at the end of an email, but is that also presumptuous? For all I know, they are taking time off for all sorts of unpleasantness.
I just want to make pleasant small talk!
“Are you doing anything fun on your vacation?” is a normal, socially acceptable thing to ask.
That doesn’t mean that there won’t be times when the answer might be something unpleasant or difficult, or simply something that person doesn’t want to share. It’s still generally considered a warm and friendly question to ask.
The person might tell you it’s not a fun trip but a family emergency or similar, but you didn’t put your foot in your mouth by asking.
And if the answer is something the person would rather not share, there are a wide variety of socially acceptable answers available to them to give — “just some family stuff I have to take care of,” “nothing exciting this time,” “oh, just some downtime,” etc.
You should be attuned to cues that the person doesn’t want to say more than they already have so that you don’t keep pushing. If someone replies with “oh, nothing too exciting,” don’t push with “oh, you must have something fun planned!” to try to get details out of them. But it’s fine to ask the initial question.
The post is it rude to ask what people are doing on leave? appeared first on Ask a Manager.
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