The Eclipse Portal & Desire

We are in the time in between eclipses, where time and space feel so eerily slow, yet fast at the same time.

How are you faring this eclipse season?

I don’t know about you, but I’m finding it rather mid – as the kids say these days.

It’s a period of time where life gets turned on its head, yet stays in the exact same place.

Eclipses can be everything and they can be nothing – all at once.

One thing I’m certain of regarding last week’s eclipse is that it is posing the question; WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT?

Human beings do seem to struggle with desire and there are many reasons for that. When I say desire, I don’t mean a short term or fleeting need. Those are the kind that hit on a Friday around 4pm when I’m wondering if it’s too early to crack open a red.
The kind of desire I’m referring to is a deep longing, a yearning that is buried and ignored but subconsciously governs our life.

The stifling of desire often stems from our formative years and what we were taught and told about what we could and couldn’t have, what we couldn’t do and what we couldn’t be. Some of this is spoken directly. For example, when my father would lose his temper, which was often, he’d scream at my brother and I, “you kids are good for nothing.”
My mother was always cold and dismissive. Before I’d even get my request for whatever my desire was, be it learn gymnastics when I was younger or go to the movies with my friends as I got older, I was told no.
Over time, I stopped asking and being the kind of teenager I was, I’d find a way regardless.

And yet, those words landed in a way in which it took me years to undo. I’m still undoing them. I internalised I was nothing and yet I rebelled against everything and everyone who attempted show me that I wasn’t. And in all honesty, once I was an adult, it was I that was telling myself no. My mothers words had become my inner voice.

You may have a similar, yet different story. Maybe the boys at school called you fat or ugly. Maybe the girls at school rejected you because you weren’t cool enough. Maybe you experienced a devastating loss that changed the way you saw everything. Maybe these experiences kept you small, hidden or safe. Perhaps they were the driver that prompted you to adopt the “I’ll show em” attitude.

The Solar Eclipse at 20 degrees Leo last week has shifted many things for many people.
It may be your own desire story.
It may be the parts of you that you already “healed” that got tenderised again.
It may be the realisation that the things you’ve internalised have put you in a position or place in life that no longer works for you.

So the question begs, so now what?

When a Solar Eclipse happens, the Moon passes over the face of the Sun, temporarily blocking its light.
What is seen becomes shadowed by the Moon. The Moon represents our bodies, our emotions, our memories which all get stored in our body. The Moon also represents mother, the way we were mothered and all the complexities around those stories. During the time of the eclipse itself, the Moon is in charge. Memories may come flooding back. Feelings that were suppressed or repressed take the stage. We are reminded of parts of ourselves that we may hide, deny or keep hidden from others and from ourselves. The patterns, the imprinting and the version of normal we’ve grown accustomed to all get upended.

We realise that what was working no longer is. At least not in the way it has been.

Then the light of the Sun is again revealed, yet everything can look different.
The light of desire.
The light of Leo.
The desire of the heart.

When those desires are revealed we have to face them in all their rawness and all their messiness. We have to own the shadow that the eclipse cast – and own it unapologetically.

The Moon crossing over the face of the Sun puts our inner child in charge. The child we once were when hell hath no fury when it came to something we wanted.
When my son was two, he was obsessed with garbage trucks. He knew the direction of the toy section in every Kmart. He spotted a garbage truck he wanted. And oh boy, he wanted it. He begged, he pleaded, “I be a good boy, Mum.” He has had me wrapped around his little finger from the moment I laid eyes on him.
He still has such a strong sense of desire and I do my best to not quell it. He knows what he wants and I do my best to provide it, on the proviso he earns it.
So that day, I told him if he wanted that garbage truck, he’d have to carry it back to the car without my help. To this day, I still have a video of him, with steely determination and pride in himself carrying that truck that was almost as big as him through the shops.

Sometimes it can be helpful to remember a child’s desire. There are no obstacles in their eyes. There are no limitations of time or money. Even when we are told “no” we don’t accept it as an answer and we ask why.
Somehow, when we get older and we don’t get what we want, we don’t ask ourselves why anymore. We tell ourselves, “this is just how it is” or some other version of that.
Our beliefs of what we think can have, what is available to us somewhere along the way got set in stone. We lose our curiosity our sense of faith and accept truths that aren’t the ultimate truth. We give up just like the Israelites did when Moses came back down the mountain to discover they’d built the Golden Calf. They’d given up that Moses would return with the word of God. But he did come back, just not on the exact timeline. The Israelites lost faith. Moses smashed the tablets. He went back up the mountain and channeled the word of God again. The second time, better than the first. This biblical story is an allegory for modern day manifesting.
We claim a desire.
It doesn’t happen when we expect.
We get nervous.
We give up.
We deviate from the path and comfort ourselves with excuses that it wasn’t meant to be.
Little did we understand that God put the desire on your heart for a reason. What if it only took one more prayer, one more action step, one more rearranged belief to reveal the promise that was yours all along?
 

A part of owning your desire may also be the realisation that what you have now you no longer do. The career or business you’ve put blood, sweat and tears into. The commitments you’ve made. The marriage you’re not sure would survive if you were completely honest about what you need within it or even outside of it.
Desire can become complicated when other people or situations are implicated in them.

Once you admit to yourself what your desire actually is, you are then responsible for it. This is why many people don’t know what they actually want.
If you’re truly honest about the desires that have been placed upon your heart, then you are living a lie if you don’t do all that is within your power to realise them.
Many people prefer a comfortable lie than an uncomfortable truth. The reason they tell themselves why their desires can be realised become Self Fulfilling Prophecy.

Jupiter was nearby the eclipse, so the truth of what is coming up for you matters.

What if the truth of what you tell yourself isn’t the ultimate truth? Think you can’t make money in this economy? Think about how much money has been exchanged throughout the world in the time it’s taken you to read this so far. Is it ultimately true that some of it can’t be yours? Why not?
Rearrange that!

Think you can’t meet your soulmate where you live because there are no dateable people? Really? No one at all? It will be true if you continue to believe it, so rearrange that too!

This is why eclipses can be so shaky, so destablising. They disrupt the regular patterns of the Sun / Moon relationship. They disrupt the desires of the heart and the memory of that which we carry within the body.

So whatever has bubbled up to the surface, love, money, worthiness or something else entirely, you are being asked to rearrange it so you can take full responsibility for it and claim it. Claim what is yours. Claim the desire that has been placed upon your heart.
Just be audacious enough to claim it with the confidence of a two year old carrying a truck as big as he was through a busy shopping center!

If you’d like support in mindset, business growth and desire – it’s a big part of building your own astrology business. You might be interested in joining me for an upcoming intake for my astrologers mentoring program.
You can see if it’s right for you right here!