I give my team gift cards — but they don’t use them

A reader writes:

I’m a manager who has what I’d thought was a generous habit: often when someone on my team hits a milestone, ends a difficult project, or just seems like they could use a morale boost, I give them gift cards (to coffee shops, restaurants, bookstores, etc.). I figured everyone likes free money.

But apparently I was wrong because I’ve realized that some people on my team barely use them. I know this because a few people have made comments like, “Oh, I still have that gift card you gave me” and I checked the balance of some of the gift cards where I had the access to do it and a lot of them haven’t been used.

I don’t need them to throw me a parade, but it does hurt to think these aren’t appreciated and are maybe seen as just clutter. Should I stop giving them? Ask people why they aren’t using them? Something else?

I think they probably are appreciated — at least as a visible token of your appreciation, even if they aren’t that excited about using the cards themselves. Some people, though, just aren’t gift card people — they forget them have them, don’t keep track of them, etc. It’s also possible that they don’t buy much at the particular stores the cards are for and don’t want to go out of their way to get something they don’t need. Or they may be holding on to them for when they’re really needed.

But it’s also fine to stop giving them if it’s making you feel bad! And in general when you give gifts, it’s best not to attach any expectations of exactly how they’ll be used. Once something is given, part of the spirit of the gift is that you have to relinquish control over it; the other person gets to decide what role it plays in their life from there.

That said, I do think there’s room to say to your team as a whole, “Is there something people would like more than gift cards, in a similar price range? I want to make sure I’m appreciating you with something you actually want.” In doing this, be careful not to complain about the cards going unused — that would make the gift cards feel like an obligation and like these appreciation gifts come with strings. But it’s fine for a manager to say, essentially, “I want to make sure I’m appreciating you in ways that you actually like.”